One day a woman walking down the street fell in a hole in the middle of the sidewalk. She sat at the bottom of the hole and, feeling sorry for herself, cried pitifully. Eventually, someone walking by heard her crying. The passerby found a rope and encouraged her to take her end of the rope and climb out. She did.
The following day the woman walked down the same street and fell in the same hole. She immediately cried for help, asking a passerby to throw her a rope. He did, and she got out.
The next day the woman walked down the same street, saw the same hole in the road, and decided to walk around it.
And on the fourth day the woman, remembering the hole, decided to walk down an entirely different street.
Slowly, I’m coming to learn that it is not the hole’s fault. It’s a waste of energy to blame the hole. The hole doesn’t change. But we can.